Today I realised that things are calm and steady and I’m enjoying it.
This is the first time I have ever just been calm, drama free and chugging along for a number of weeks. It’s all because I’m not out drinking and letting hangovers disrupt my flow, or battling the anxiety that comes after a big night and paralyses me for days.
For once there are also no men in my life stressing me out or throwing me off my stride. Kids are both doing well no huge worries there and I’m finding more energy to do things with them and really connect. It’s peaceful and not too long ago I would probably have considered it pretty boring but now I like it. I feel content and calm and the usually ever present voice of anxiety has kind of diminished to background noise.
I spent some time today reading a new sobriety book and also watching confronting documentaries about severe alcoholism. I learned that it’s very common for depression and other mental health issues to come swarming in when you sober up as you’ve been partially drinking to self medicate. This has happened to me before and it was enough for me to start drinking again but now I am a little more prepared for it and understand why it may happen, I can hopefully push through next time.
No More Wineing 