Well I am sick, and my back has gone again so feeling pretty sorry for myself. What’s amazing is that I’ve had two nights with little sleep, a stinking head cold and I still feel better than usual. I’m able to push through it unlike with a hangover, which usually sees me completely debilitated all day.
I’ve not only completed my work quota each day, I’ve exceeded it and I am actually ahead of schedule on one of my monthly projects. This is different. I seem able to be consistent and productive when I’m not downing the wine every night, who knew?
I am a little nervous as I’m reaching the usual point where I start to waver. I start feeling good again (well as good as you can feel when you have a stinking head cold and an aching back) and think well what’s one glass of wine? I can be a normal social drinker just have a couple when I’m out, not drink at home, blah blah we all know how that one goes.
I had lunch with a good friend today. Let’s call her Julie. She’s a super close friend and also a drinking buddy. She’s seen me go through a few phases of not drinking and I think mostly she’s been bemused by it more than anything else. She’s the one I went drinking with on my Last Big Session and I hadn’t seen her since then. She’s the friend I confide in about everything, but for some reason I can’t talk to her about this. She just doesn’t compute it, and I guess she doesn’t want to lose her drinking buddy, which I totally get.
Today when we met for lunch straight away she grabbed the drinks menu and said ‘are you having wine? I said not for me I’m off the booze and she replied, I’ve been drinking too much too this week, you’re right, coffee’s probably a better idea. I didn’t push it any further. Realise that if I’m going to sustain this I will need friends who get it, Julie has been a trigger for me many many times. Not intentionally, but it’s hard to go to the usual bars and do the usual things and not drink with her. Thing is, I don’t really know how or where to meet sober friends but I guess maybe I need to start by doing sober activities and hopefully I will stumble across some non drinking people.
No More Wineing 